An Awkward Avian Experience

I stopped by Joann Fabric today to pick up some goods. Don't laugh at me but I'm making "curtains" for the car windows. I figure driving through all the hot, southern states with the animals in the car, it would be smart to block the sun from beaming in on them. So I find some cheap fabric and make my way to the cutting table where a bunch of women are all gathered around with their various items. Mind you, most of these women are in their 60s and 70s. Meaning they're feisty and more than willing to let their true feelings be known. lol. The gal behind the desk asked that we all take a number so they could help us in an organized fashion. As we took turns taking a number, I noticed a woman with a Cockatoo on her shoulder and a green parrot of some sort on her shopping cart. Now I must admit that my inner child was initially excited at the sight of pretty birds but adult hood soon took over and said "No, no....this isn't right. Birds shouldn't be chilling in the fabric store." All the women around me were starring at her like she was insane! Then, as if on cue, the Cockatoo pooped on the floor. A big, bright green, splotch of poo right on to the tile floor. The woman next to me was now starring at me in horror. The bird lady reached in her purse, took out a napkin, squatted down, cleaned the poo, and PUT IT IN HER POCKET! Now "horror expression" woman is doing the fake, silent, dry heave expression and mouthed "oh gross!!!" to me. A woman about my age who was further back in line asked if the white bird was a Cockatoo. Bird lady took off to go chat with her leaving me standing next to her large green parrot. The parrot was checking me out and making little sounds so I felt obligated to softly talk back to it. I didn't want to ignore it. I mean, what if it became offended and decided to peck my eyes out? Eventually bird lady once again returned, with an arm full of items. So at long last, it's BL's turn and she starts explaining what needs to be done with her fabric. She seems flustered as she has an arm full of items she's juggling and is trying to answer questions. She turned to me and said "Can.....can you.....". I instinctively reached my arms out to help take some of the stuff from her arms when she says "Here! Just hold this!" and thrusts her Cockatoo on to my arm!! So now I'm standing there wide eyed with this large bird perched on my arm. I'm hearing disgusted, low breathed comments of "Are you kidding me?" "That poor girl" and "Well some people..." all around me. The Cockatoo had it's back to me but now turned around to check me out. I didn't know what to do so I start gently talking to the bird and petting it. Don't get me wrong, I love birds but the fabric store is the last place I would have expected to be entertaining a large Cockatoo. Plus I can't shake the notion that now I appear to be the crazy lady who brought her birds to the store. So the woman sets her items down and fishes some measurements out of her pocket and proceeds to start a conversation with the people behind the counter. I'm standing there trying to be patient thinking any second now she'll turn around to reclaim her bird.........yep any second..................oh, here we go.....no........wait.........anytime now. After about 3 full minutes, it becomes clear to me that she has no intentions of taking the bird back. Now I'm feeling super awkward!!! I'm just standing there with this damn bird on my arm. What am I? A mobile perch?! So now I'm saying "Ma'am?.........Excuse me Ma'am?............MA'AM?! Yeah, hi, uh....I'm done with your bird now so if you could just..........(she turns back to the counter to answer questions).....Ma'am! Do I just put him back on your shopping cart? DO SOMETHING WITH THIS!!!" She finally took him and placed him on her shoulder never breaking her conversation with the people behind the counter. I did that awkward giggle and smile as I noticed my audience was starring back at me in sympathetic horror. Picked up my items and.......exit stage left to registers. lol. Just another day in comedic paradise. :)